Why aren't you a Trump supporter?
08.06.2025 02:51

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t
I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”
It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms
How would you feel if your girlfriend had dick pics on her phone?
I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”
I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t
I don’t cotton to rapists
I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”
I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”
I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink
I have an acute aversion to scumbags
I actually pay taxes
I can read
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If someone works for me, I actually pay them
I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup
I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”
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I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP
I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”
EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that
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I have a reading level above third grade
When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability
I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity
How far back into your childhood can your remember and what is your favorite memory of that time?
Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:
I have complete contempt for fakery
I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write
I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center
I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions
I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee
I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard
I took the same Oath and took it seriously
I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes
Have you ever lied to your family? What were the circumstances?
I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t
I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet
When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP
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I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight
Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.
I have complete contempt for traitorism
Why do I sweat between my legs all the time, top off my legs, all way down?
I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”
A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y
It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter
I don’t watch or listen to advertising
I understand how hurricane paths work
I can count
I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes
I see through liars
I know who the president of Turkey really is
I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.
I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light
authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday
Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?
I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened
I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality
I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”
I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones
I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”
I don’t buy bullshit
I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is
I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane
I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”